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Features Microsoft Word Shouldn’t Have, and I Shouldn’t Know About

According to my Word document, I’ve spent 187.8 hours editing part 2 of Éinín (i.e., the Word doc was open and in front of other windows and I saved changes after it was open)…

…if I wrote at a pace of 500 net-words/hour, and this is probably an average, sad though it is, then given the word-count in the document, I spent 115 hours writing-typing in the document…

…which means it’s likely I have spent over 72 hours just fucking staring at this fic without actually writing in it, but while tweaking or adjusting or deleting or trying to edit it… and that’s not counting whatever hours Word didn’t count because I didn’t save changes.

I need this fic to be over so I can get my life back.

.

.

.

.

And then my brain reminds me that there will be part 3 which I’ve already started and depending on how that goes possibly part 4 and then I start to cry a little.

edit: for further comparison… my ‘total edit minutes’ for part 1 only came to 25 hours.  25. I HAVE SPENT ALMOST 3X AS LONG STARING AT AND AGONIZING OVER PART 2 THAN I SPENT WRITING PART 1. 


Nevermind… I forgot there was an original doc for part 1… which lists 118 hours all by itself.  So they’re closer to even than I thought.  I feel somewhat less awful about the comparison, but my god, so many hours on this one stupid fucking ‘verse…

 


That moment when you have to sigh, take a deep, resigned breath, right click on that angry, red, squiggly line…





…and add “jizz” to Microsoft Word’s dictionary just so it stops telling you it’s a misspelled word.

 


What It's Like to Talk with Me on AIM While I'm Ficcing:

  • ME: THAT IS NOT A FRAGMENT, WORD. FUCK YOU. THAT IS A FULL SENTENCE.
  • ME: YOU SUCK.
  • ME: GO DIE IN A FIRE.
  • ME: *whispers* but also stay right here and keep my fic safe, please. I love you. Shhhh. SHhhhh.


Seriously, MS Word… just stop.
You’re being a prude again, and it’s just ugly.

Seriously, MS Word… just stop.

You’re being a prude again, and it’s just ugly.



I really don’t think this is what should have been among the first dozen results, MS Word…  do you?

Maybe you oughta think through your life choices, MS Word.

I really don’t think this is what should have been among the first dozen results, MS Word…  do you?

Maybe you oughta think through your life choices, MS Word.





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